Ms. Manteufel,

You don’t really believe what you wrote about “senior communities” do you? If you do, you are either woefully ignorant or you work for them.

Exactly who do you think can afford these places? And for how long? Years ago, my husband and I attended an open house at a local senior community, and they wanted $250,000 dollars up front and $1,500 a month rent. I can’t imagine what they cost now.

We have since searched for appropriate placement for my husband’s mother and found two choices for assisted living: poorly staffed, dirty, yet still

expensive warehouses for people waiting to die or places like that expensive community which reek of exclusivity and privilege.

I know your columns tend to veer toward relentless positivity and the kind of hope only people who have never needed it possess, but please, keep at least one foot in reality.

Answer:

I’m sorry to hear about your experience.  That had to be pretty disheartening.

The most crucial step in finding a community is finding the right match; it isn’t as easy as it sounds.  One needs to consider finances, physical needs, and personality. The key to finding the right fit is to know where to start – which can save endless hours of frustration.

Here is an analogy: if I needed a new car, I would look at affordability, what my needs are for seating and cargo, and what I mostly use the car for.  I wouldn’t look at a Rolls-Royce because it would be a mismatch for me.

I connected with Linda Brandt, supervisor at the Outagamie County Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC).  She shared that they provide a free service to help seniors find the right resources for their needs.  Indeed, when we needed to find a new home for my mother-in-law, we sat down with the ADRC and went over options that fit her physical needs (independent living soon to become assisted living), her financial resources and a place that just plain felt like her style.  

They gave us four matches to check out.  Admittedly, the first just did not feel right, and we left, feeling discouraged.  The second was so-so, and we figured we would have to settle.  The third community spoke to us right from the start, so we never looked at the fourth.

By starting with the ADRC, we didn’t spend time looking at places that either didn’t fit for her physical needs or that she couldn’t afford.

For folks who have significant private assets (2-3 years’ worth of private dollars), there are also personalized services who can work with you.  After screening the communities based on your needs, they go a step further by taking the tours with you and providing more hands-on help through the process. Your local ADRC can help refer you to those personalized services, too.

Calling your county Aging and Disability Resource Center is a free and helpful resource for folks who are looking for a place that matches their needs.

Outagamie County ADRC  920-832-5178

Winnebago County ADRC  877-886-2372

Calumet County ADRC  920-849-1451

Waupaca County ADRC  715-258-6400