This month, we celebrate our country’s independence. As we commemorate 250 years of freedom, we reflect on what independence means. We are celebrating our ability to make our own decisions, shape our own lives, maintain our dignity and enjoy the strength we get from others in our community. We thank our founding fathers who recognized that the system that we were living in was not working. They boldly imagined something else and bravely took our country in a new direction.
What a perfect time to look at our own living situation and consider if we can continue being independent there.
Many folks say that they want to stay in their house and be independent. But, as our abilities decline and managing a house becomes challenging, we spend more of our time just trying to keep up. There is a growing list of items that need fixing, painting, weeding, or cleaning. There is also a growing list of things we need to keep us safe: handrails, grab bars, safe showers, de-cluttering, lighting… There are entire rooms of furniture that we hardly ever go in and that have little practical use in our lives anymore – yet they still need attention.
When my clients move to smaller, more useful surroundings, they are declaring their liberation from chores that overwhelm them, they have freedom from home maintenance, they are in control of where they move and what they take. They also have choices of what happens to the items they are not moving. They maintain their dignity by creating a new home that is more manageable and that still truly reflects their style.
I remember talking to a client, Yolanda, who was having a hard time leaving her house of 60 years. She was exhausted from taking care of the house and was also taking care of her husband who had major health problems (in addition, she had challenges of her own). I promised her that if they moved to a senior community, she would have about 15 hours a week of absolute freedom – and extra energy to do things. She laughed, saying she wouldn’t know what to do with herself. A month after the transition, she called to let me know I was wrong. She has 20+ hours of freedom every week, and she is really relaxing and enjoying herself.
Senior communities are designed with you in mind. Their goal is to help you be as independent as possible. The layouts are practical for your lifestyle today. Your apartment gives you the privacy you want – yet there are neighbors and support when you need them. Often there are meals and transportation available, and as needs change, there may be choices for a continuum of care.
When I think of “independence”, it isn’t about what you did in the past, but rather the ability to direct your own future. It is about choices.
Happy 250th, to our United States. May we enjoy many more years of freedom!